Monthly Archives: January 2019

Can You Stand the Rain?

The old saying, “when it rains it pours,” has been true in many different stages in my life. My mother likes to say that though rains may fall, there is a rainbow on the other side. I started to think about the impact rain has on certain things and certain kinds of people.

When I think about dirt, excessive rain turns it into mud, duh. But outside of the spa, mud is dirty, sticky, and murder on your tires or your toddler’s new shoes.

ARE YOU MUD?

When troubles come your way, do you allow yourself to get stuck in your situation? Do you sit in the middle of your bed and rehash your worries to anyone and everyone willing to listen to you whine?

Now, think about gravel. A lot of rain not only makes the roads slippery and treacherous, but it can also lead to erosion. Those lovely potholes that wreak havoc on your vehicle most likely came as a result of a torrential downpour.

ARE YOU GRAVEL?

When troubles arise, do you give it the power to break you in mind and spirit? Do you accept your fate and assume that nothing will change for the better?

And finally we come to plants. Whether you have a green thumb or not, and I absolutely do not, you know that at the bare minimum, plants need water to grow and flourish. The rain may cause the plant to bow under the pressure but it will remain firm.

ARE YOU A PLANT?

Do you take the troubles and issues that come at you, yet remain firm? Do you relish the hard times, or “rain”, knowing that you will emerge stronger and healthier once the storm has passed.

In theory, we all want to believe that we are plants. No one wants to admit that they allow things beyond their control to stop them in their tracks. But too often we get stuck in our circumstances or become broken beyond repair.

We allow troubles to weigh us down to the point where we can’t see a way out.

Rough times typically come in droves and are meant to knock us out, at least temporarily. But it’s how you handle what’s thrown at you that matters. Despite how it may feel, these tough times were never meant to last forever.

If you need to scream, do it. If you need to vent for a little while, speak up. If you just want to crawl in bed with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a glass of Pinot Grigio and watch reruns of Martin or Friends, you have the right. But do not allow yourself to wallow forever.

Have your moment and then figure out your next step.

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Testing Your Marriage

As satisfying as being a mommy is, when you’re a wife, parenthood is one of the major things that can test a marriage.

For me, I am fortunate that my husband and I are on the same page when it comes to the ultimate goals and dreams for our babies. The problems arise when it comes to the route we want to take to get to our mutual destination.

Right now, our baby girl is in the hospital yet again and we are faced with multiple questions and decisions that need to be made on her behalf. At first we were on opposite ends of the spectrum. He opted for surgery while I opted for medication but we both are concerned with how our decisions will impact the rest of her life.

This is when communication is absolutely critical. It’s not only important to be clear about what you want and come with some convincing evidence, but it’s also necessary to listen to the other person with an open mind. In this type of situation, it doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong.

Before making this decision, my husband brought up a valid concern. He didn’t want either of us to give in to the other person blindly and, if things don’t turn out well, the spouse with the winning decision would be the victim of eternal blaming.

We talked and weighed the pros and cons and did all of the research we could. We consulted friends and family and even talked to other people who have been on similar medication and have experience with her condition. At the end of the day, we were bombarded with so much information and so many opinions that it made us dizzy.

It was when we both got a break from the hospital and we were home alone that we were able to let our gut and our hearts and our faith guide us to a decision that brought us both peace.

Those kinds of mature conversations can only be achieved when you both have the same end goal in mind and aren’t so consumed with who’s right or wrong. I won’t pretend like every disagreement we have ends so amicably. But learning how to thrive during a disagreement as opposed to fighting through an argument is one of the keys, at least for me, to a healthy relationship.

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