I saw a meme on Facebook a few weeks ago that I just had to post to my page. In the picture, a woman had two children holding her hands, an infant strapped to her chest who is breastfeeding and a man strapped to her back. On her head is a heavy sack that holds the possessions of her entire family as they make the trek to a new destination. The caption says, “Ladies, stop carrying the entire load; that’s not your assignment.”
So many things went through my mind as I studied this picture, like the expression on the man’s face. The woman looks older than her years and tired, one child is crying and the other looks sad. The man, however, has his eyes closed and a contented smile on his face. He rests comfortably knowing that his woman is taking the brunt of the hardships and the trials, leaving him to live his life with no worries. How dare he allow this woman to take on everything herself?
In the same breath, the caption is right. Too many women put themselves in these situations of trying to be Superwoman and taking everything on solo. There is nothing wrong with being independent but at some point you have to learn to ask for help. If you make it seem like you don’t need anyone’s assistance, and if you decline offered help, then you only have yourself to blame when you wind up weary and exhausted.
In some cases, it’s not enough to simply ask for help; you need to demand it from your partner. Demand that he help you pay the bills, take care of the children, and take care of the home. Stand up for what’s right and fair in ALL of your relationships.
Another aspect of this meme is the physical state of everyone. The crying child is wearing an ill fitted shirt while the other child is visibly malnourished and none of them are wearing shoes. But the man, with his arms on the woman’s shoulders and his legs wrapped firmly around her waist, is wearing what looks like a nice shirt and pants and loafers. When you allow a woman to take care of everything, you get it in your mind to only take care of yourself.
As a woman, you cannot do it all alone and you shouldn’t be expected to. Your boyfriend or spouse is given the title of “partner” for a reason. He is there to make the burden manageable for you both so allow him to do that.
As a man, it is your job to take care of both your wife and your children. She wouldn’t expect you to handle everything on your own so you shouldn’t expect that either. Be her helpmate in every area of the life you share together.