I am hoping that this will be the start of me stepping out on faith or on my own confidence or whatever it is that may or may not be driving me. I am trying to redefine what I do and what I want for my life. This is outside of being a wife and a mother, and even outside of my relationship with others.
I want to be better and do better for my career and for my own happiness. It’s been a long time since I really thought about what brings me joy, 11 years to be exact. Becoming a mother consumed me and while I love the role and excel at it, I, like many other mothers, allowed that role to define me.
I was a guest on a podcast a while ago and my opinion was sought to talk about distance learning from a parental perspective. But when I was introduced, one of the hosts made it a point to say “she’s more than a mother.”
I appreciated that and didn’t realize how much I needed someone else to affirm that. Like it gives me permission to finally step from behind my babies and claim a piece of this world for myself.
I am in a season of discovering my worth and not being afraid to reject those things that are comfortable for me. Prime example, in my regular 9-5 I was an editor and have been for the past 13 years. Since getting laid off last month, I started my regular search of editor positions. This is the third time I’ve been laid off in my life and I am finally realizing the limits I have placed on myself.
Just like I am more than a mother, I am more than an editor as well. I train writers and researchers. I excel at public speaking. I am organized and a planner. I also dabble in social media and marketing. I can do and be more than I’ve ever allowed myself to be.
I am also writing a new book, something nonfiction that I am passionate about. The first book of fiction will always be my baby and I have not given up on the idea of it being a successful and innovate series. I self published the first book and never even considered the idea of looking for an agent and signing with a publisher.
My old fears of not being good enough were ever present even though I didn’t realize it at the time. This time around, I’m shooting my shot. What’s the worst that could happen? If I really believe in this project and really believe that God placed it in my spirit, there’s no way I will fail. The people will have access to my words one way or another.
I sound like I am rambling I’m sure. Just know this, I am placing myself in a position to soar.